alright the other day we went for a wedding. it took me a total of 15 minutes to get ready whereas it took my khala a good hour or so. the wedding was in pindi so that's a 30 minute drive. it took us about 45 minutes because it was raining so hard. total time spent at the wedding: 10 minutes. i swear. i guess since we were at the mehndi the night before it wasn't too bad or discourteous that we showed up at 11. but still. by that time everyone that i wanted to see [my other khala and family] had already left. we thought we would hit up this place called bundu khan. it's a greasy spoon joint...without the spoon. or the joint for that matter. just a whole lot of grease [for the parties that will get this - a whole lot of bhangra] and spices. looking for the place we got lost. after a bunch of dead end streets and streets where the car wouldn't fit because they were so small we find that that was closed. great. we thought we would just din at home and lo and behold smalls comes up with the idea that we go to marriot. that's not a good idea when you're starved. i was cold. i was tired. i was hungry. we did the deed and i ended up oversleeping and decided to skip the next day. the best part though was that it was raining so everything ended well, alhumdulillah.

i have a summer cold. yuck!

to me the best advice is do what your heart tells you to do. except usually my heart tells me things that don't go with society norms. i can't share what i want to do right now as my family and friends read this but MAN is that bad advice when i'm like this.

on failing. ever since i entered school here i've been thinking about this. failing is something i'll have to get used to in this profession. i know that sounds horrible. because it is horrible. but this is a reality. i won't be able to help everyone because if it's written for them then so be it. ofcourse that won't deter me from trying because what could be more rewarding than trying to preserve human life? rewarding as in for myself. not necessarily the best way to stack up for the last day. what i plan to do is fail, not as a professional, which may or may not let me believe that failing is part of trying to win. let's see how this works out. until then i do plan to pass. make dua for me inshAllah. God knows i need to. today is the last day of my 1st year of m.b.b.s. at fumc. nice eh?

later. not now. after this. only factor for sure is time will play along as i procrastinate

i think the worst part of growing up is actually becoming responsible. you can blame things and be immature about it while you're an adult but then everyone by that time knows you're a coward. you are held accountable for all your actions. so when you do something weird or stupid you can't say oh my mom made me or laugh it off. no matter how much you really really want to. i want no responsibility. i want to do things that people don't expect. i don't want to do things that people expect. i just want to be. i want and i don't want and there should be nothing else. me me me

what is the probability that you are telling the truth? i like to think i don't lie. but that would make me a liar. even statements we know as facts are casually passed along with neither you or i realizing that we are lying. is that really lying? if you don't have the intention to lie, it's probably not thought of as malicious as it would be if it was intentionally done. malicious. sounds like delicious. sounds like vicious. sounds like i gotta get some sleep

every afternoon there is a maddening drive i have to make. i was beleagured by my own problems today and i missed the u-turn i make to get out. on my way back i was in the turning lane [any lane can be a turning lane in pakistan...they don't care about such minutiae] so this fella who's clearly in the wrong lane himself tries to signal to me that i was going wrong. i concluded a little late but still that i was in the wrong lane too. trying to be a jerk that he was [yes, i had all his life's details worked out during a traffic jam] he tried to lecture me by cutting me off half way [it was really slow that day] so he could directly look at me. what do i do at this time? i motion to him that i can't hear him and look the other way. he was vexed. slightly.

the other day i stopped at a red light. you know, what you're supposed to do at a red light. and this car came up from behind and hit me. no damage was done to the drivers or the cars. alhumdulillah. as i stepped out to check the rear of my car the driver of the car behind me got out. i didn't even say anything and he said in urdu that i shouldn't have stopped. now from what i know from my past experience, it's never a good idea to even bother with people like that. after another sleepless night i just wasn't in the mood for it. armed with my meanest face which is my usual face according to some i started up my urdu. at the end the guy just said something like ok no damage was done and seemed sorry enough. and i let it go. that's getting harder and harder to do. i'm don't consider myself an uptight person but i'm tending towards one alas

it's been a slow and studyfree morning. smalls and i woke up raf to play with him. he woke up moodless. a couple of minutes later he was still but gave me half smiles at my antics. i try to bite him every chance i get. and he squeals with laughter. sometimes the squeal is premature as i'm just creeping up on him. sometimes he presents his cheeks for me to bite if i happen to not be paying attention. it's great. makes me want to have a kid real bad [prompt hbiddy]

got my hair did. finally. i, leaver of self maker upper, got groomed. i got a hair cut. actually, i got many hairs cut. har har. i know it's done and redone but it's still good. to me. now my face looks like my abu ji's, minus the 5 o'clock shadow, with added chubbiness, no grey hairs. wait. what i'm saying is. basically. nothing like my abu ji.

much to my disappointment most people i've come across don't know what they are saying in their prayers. it's a sad state to be in especially when one claims to pray 5 times a day. that's you not knowing what you're saying. i looked up the meaning at http://www.islamicity.com/Mosque/salat/salat9.htm and thought i would cut and paste because some might not even bother looking at it at all. yo don't be that lazy. know what you're doing. i'm such a closet molvvvi.

(I)Allah is Great.

(A) Praise and glory be to you O Allah. Blessed be Your Name, exalted be Your Majesty and Glory. There is no God but You.

(B) I seek Allah's shelter from Satan, the condemned.

(C) In the Name of Allah, the Beneficent, the Merciful.

(D) Praise be to Allah, The Cherisher and Sustainer of the Worlds;
Most Gracious, Most Merciful; Master of the Day of Judgement
Thee do we worship, and Thine aid we seek,
Show us the straight way,
the way of those on whom Thou hast bestowed Thy Grace,
Those whose(portion) is not wrath,
And who go not astray.

(E) "Glorified is my Lord, the Great".

(F) Allah Listens to him who praises Him"

(G) "Our Lord, praise be for you only".

(H) "Glorified is my Lord, the Exalted"

(I) O my Lord forgive me and have Mercy on me"

(J) "All our oral, physical and monetary ways of worship are only for Allah. Peace, mercy and blessing of Allah be on you, O Prophet. May peace be upon us and on the devout slaves of Allah. I testify that there is no God but Allah and I testify that Muhammad is His slave and messenger".

(K) "O God send your mercy on Muhammad and his posterity as you sent Your mercy on Abraham and his posterity. You are the Most Praised, The Most Glorious".

(K) "O God, send your Blessings on Muhammad and his posterity as you have blessed Abraham and his posterity. You are the Most praised, The Most Glorious".

(L) "Our Lord, grant us the good of this world and that of the Hereafter and save us from the torture of hell.

(M) Peace and mercy of Allah be on you".

all morning i've had iii'm the ugliest guyyy on the lowereast siiide but i've got a car and you wanna go for a riiide. thanks baji. thanks a whole lot.

i feel like i'm taking crazy pills. not sleeping normally. not eating normally. not feeling normal...i better go lay down. but before i go, for those in on this or even interested, shagufta aka shagufts aka shaggy aka goofy is out of the picture. i'm through with her! 99 problems and ***** ain't one

since i got off the plane on sunday night i've been sweating. also i think there is a layer of dirt on me that won't come off even after washing 5 times a day and at least 2 showers. yep. i'm living the good life.

i sat through class like a zombie. why i even chose to attend i don't know. i do know that i have this massive headache that won't go away until i write up somehting brief and audience friendly about hyperthyroidism instead of this little excerpt i have where it sounds like this condition is cute. i could use some coffee right about now.

i'm back in pak. most of the family members were at a wedding so the two cousins that showed up forced me away from my bhindi and took me out to eat. we got in a little while ago. my class is at 8a. tomorrow. should i go or should i stay?

pretty lazy with that there comment box. must be celebrating your azadi.

aside from family, friends and conveniences, i'll be happy to be back. can't wait to hear the adhan.

happy independence day!

nana ji was telling us about how when mummy was much much younger. like 3. she started repeating and i quote "everywhere the time" she kept doing this until nana ji smacked her one. yesterday hbiddy, nana ji, nano and i kept repeating it after every sentence. it was great *thwack* owww

before i'm about to travel i can't sleep and i don't do well if i eat. although i love to travel. weird huh?

at target i saw this purse that had the "hello my name is" label and in the blank space it said high maintenance.

yesterday we had an "oh i see you're desi too" moment aka "hum be desi hain" the stare i talked of earlier followed. this time hbiddy added a little twist to it. she said i know you see me. all loud and stuff. we live in a fairly white town so that's highly inappropriate. that and i think i saw nana ji watching her as she said it. great. grand. wonderful.

i have a plan. as always there's a plan. in the realm of replying to emails my plan has managed to work thus far but i do end up in the end being wrongfully blamed for not being that efficient. which equates to not caring. but that is not the truth whatsoever. if an email isn't opened, then i shouldn't be required to write back. if an email is more than 1k, then there should be a law of relativity enforced as to how long it can be until i open it directly proportional to the size of it. if it exceeds a normal size and becomes a burden on my inbox, otherwise known as pushing my inbox limit to the red zone, i can view it because it's probably a picture but am not required to reply. the catch is when you're deleting emails you've answered. don't go to return to message and then delete it because that will lead you to the next new message and once you've seen the next new message you are obliged to reply regardless of whether you read it or not because there's no denying it, you already know what you've done and it's up to you to become responsible. don't reply to people you'll meet in the next couple of days. call people that are local instead of email them which may not be that easy to follow if you've grounded yourself to studying instead of self rule of how social you oughta be or ought not be. the task of replying to email is much more complicated than it often seems. so when you get an email, appreciate it. and when you get a forward, then you know who really cares.

is it just me or does everyone read everything they can in the shower. i can probably tell you how to lather, rinse, repeat in a couple of different languages. ok i'm exaggerating. but you know you got nothing else to do in there. that's probably why there are so many complaints about how long i take. i have to read everything!

bare feet. very important in my world. which is sometimes bizzaro world but hey. i like the feel of the soft carpet, cold tiles, velvety bathroom mats [and yes i do go in the bathroom without chappals on, but only at home - as if that makes it all better], warm concrete, etc., under my feet. sandals are equally significant to allow foot freedom. i write this as i'm strumming my toes which i can only do with my right foot, not my left one.

watched spiderman2. i gotta find a hobby or something besides watching this junx. i did like it though. wish they had seat belts in those seats. i'm afraid of heights so it was like a rollercoaster ride to me. wheee! note to movie goers: sit in the back seats if it's stadium seating to get the full effex

ahhh. best buy bliss. sunday afternoons are made for hanging out this close to electronics you would never pay good money for. hbiddy and i had a karaoke session of under the boardwalk. we also stared down some desis. because that's what we do. alright i'm out *stare*

do you ever run across people and think: huh? how did THEY end up together? you can always find a couple that just doesn't belong together. either one partner has a great personality or no personality compared to the other. reason i bring this up is i came across 2 of the sort, 1st at macy's one day sale and 2nd at the party earlier tonight, where i got a good bargain and lip lubricant [greasy paki food is the best], respectively. what inspired me to share this i really don't know but i sure rocked a whole buncha churiyaan earlier tonight.

who's got a good khutba to share?

alright what's your blogging route? you know everyone has one

this seafood joint nearby called clarksville seafood. it in itself is fascinating. besides no real decor in the dine in section, closed on mondays and suspect timings, fish tank displayed right before placing your order, prices slowly making their way up, never a slow business day, they have the yummiest fish this side of the atlantic [fish n chips in england with vinegar on them a close second] not yet disappointed me. ever. which is just plain crazy. that is all for now.

at the bmv earlier i saw a man with a fiery red beard. to myself i thought, that's some major beardage going on. last couple of hours in my head i've been adding age as a suffix to most words. it's more fun than it should be.

it's that time of the summer. a quick review of all the movies i've seen in the past month. or anything i absolutely have to bring up. well, here it is. oh man am i sick of sci-fi flicks or what. i mean really. today i saw a trailer for alien vs. predator. what the heck? was anyone else thinking that now that it's established that everyone hates these kinds of movies why do they think that combining them will fill the seats? i'm outraged by such an act. enough to want to spit. on another note, i've watched enough chic filums that more than fill my quota for the next few years. i only liked 13 going on 30. i admit it. i'm not ashamed. and although that's a story line that's been done enough times, i was sold. we sneaked in to watch the end of catwoman. that in itself should be a reason to start ignoring me. we did it because the other choice was the notebook and i wasn't going to waste my 20 min pre-dodge ball previews on that trash. i wish we hadn't. that was my first time sneaking in and i didn't enjoy it one bit. i watched harold and kumar go to white castle and that was the suck. just don't do it. hmmm. what else? oh. ah yes. the cinderella story. i wanted to get up and leave but i was pressured into sitting through the whole thing. i can't remember the other movies i've seen so this is all for now.

most annoying thing on the planet. did it today. that's right lads. how irritating is it when someone doesn't give you your messages? it's worse than getting a jumbled up message. which can still be redeemed by calling the person right back and clearing up the trivialities. it's probably far far better than mumbling on an answering machine or leaving a phone number too fast to write down so the person who got the message has to listen to all the messages again. it's probably preferable to actually having someone throw away your junk mail although you knowing that it's only junk and that you would have thrown it away anyway but it's important to have the awareness that you recieved it and then threw away your chance to win with ed mcmahon. well, i did that today. besides that, nothing much to write home about.

i realize my stories on here are in no way beneficial. or even amusing at times for others. but for me, well, this is for me. this is not for you! now i have this urge to kick open a door and walk in like i know what i'm doing. ahhh. rockstardom. when will my dreams come true? me me me

i remember dorm life. picked up cursing there. when you're out on your own and everyone else is doing it. and you do it to amuse yourself rather than anything else. that still doesn't make it a good thing, i know. every other thing was f this f that. by my senior year i was avoiding those people and attempted to stop cursing. my attempt was aided by a co-operative in this execution who was a friend that will remain nameless but we came up with a plan to say "curses!" every time to make us realize how unnecessary it is and overall how stupid we sound when cursing. it worked.