happy birthday broheme!

yesterday i passed out from exhaustion. to think, i laughed myself into a headache and slept only cause i couldn't physically handle staying awake and being coherent at the same time. i'm in lahore for maisoun's wedding. i stayed away as long as i could and then i had to break down and come here earlier than planned. uncle will help me study if i stay here a couple of extra days. until then i'll relax and try to soak in anything i can by studying early in the mornings before the masses awake while i'm here. we went to the farm for a swim under the stars. it was so cool. literally. with the moon shining above us. i got to enjoy that for 2.5 seconds. after that there was a whole bunch of screaming, splashing, laughing. and. well. you know how we do. oh and we played this game we made up. something about a mean lady that lived at one end of the pool and she would catch someone from the other end of the pool and they would become the mean lady. regardless if they were a boy named abdullah. a distorted version of tag. then we tried to appease mus ala mus and had to jump out of the pool when he stripped and thought to whip us with his swimming trunks. after eating everything in site we thanked zafar taya and afshi tai for letting us pee in the pool and eat all their food and reminding them that that's what family's for and came home to more gup shup and laughing. whew! abu ji, mummy, broheme, l, hbiddy and ism i missed you all so much. you really would have enjoyed this shadi ka ghar atmosphere

happy birthday bloogie! owww! it's been a year since i've been blogging. try this. in 26 words tell me how it was for you. here's me:
pakistan move
amazing grandparents
attending fumc
working hard
vacationing amreeka
happy healthy
turning 26
soul searching
more confused
losing focus
yet determined
miss parents
and family

last night i had a nightmare about failing the prof. ya Allah. what could be worse???

day before yesterday i had an ugly moment. i was at the airport with ezze and smalls to pick up t khala and h mamoo. with the excitement of recieving them at the airport building. for some unknown reason i enjoy being there when someone comes from a long journey. we were trying to locate uncle z, raf, s mami and fam. it was early. it wasn't too crowded. we were lurking at the edges. just as i spotted s mami and fam ezze points towards them and we change directions to walk directly to join them. as we do this my hand is grazed by another man's hand. i would blame myself for swinging my arms as i walk but that can be eliminated since i wasn't walking fast enough for that to happen. i would say that it was a mistake on his part but that is not so either because his shoulders weren't even close to mine. so that means this man made it a point to intrude into my personal space and touch me. stuff like that sickens me. even though there was enough space around him to not allow that to happen and i wasn't paying attention to anyone else except my family members that we had just seen he did that with the wrong intentions. such actions are quite perverse. as i realized what had happened it was all too late and i tried to pretend that it didn't happen. what i wanted to do in actuality is turn around. snap kick his spine at the level of the xiphoid process. send him reeling to the ground. step on his neck to keep him pinned. grab his wrist that he found so victorious as he touched the back of my hand with it. pull his arm up with his elbow extended. as the shoulder joint would make the arm perpendicular to the ground twist his wrist clockwise. while the hand was bent at the wrist joint i would press ever so slightly and keeping things under control to let him know that he didn't have a chance until it was ready to snap. and as i twisted it more and more i would scream to him about how i prayed that Allah swt would smite thee down and those alike for touching without permission. a little much? yo that's how i felt right then. my anger subsided after i saw my family but it really is disgusting. i hope when i grow up i will be a good muslim. besides my knowledge of the human body. or my martial arts skills. i would really like to work on dampening my reactions to such appalling situations. because i'm afraid one of these days i will act on it and nothing good will come of it. it's just that something like that i hate because i'm powerless to do much about it.

hap happy birrrday baaaji! to youuu! i miss you!

my walk every evening consists of margalla hills on my right and ends at faisal masjid. when i walk back with margalla hills on my left on my right i pass the rest of the neighborhood. among those homes is a house with a much tended yard. the grass is always trip with a velvet look to it. the border is made up of bushes of flowers. now if you look closesly enough. say you're walking a foot away from the edge of that person's property you can see red chilli peppers planted intermittently. stuff like that always cracks me up. i'm so fortunate to have such a scene play in front of me making my walk easier. oh and i do have gardner envy. my grandparents' new mali baba is on the older side and it remains a mystery to me what it is exactly that he does for their garden

i'm currently residing in the study of my grandparent's home. on one side there are wall to wall shelves filled with books on subjects ranging from home economics to joke books to islamiat but majority deals with the making of an admiral. i plan to read all of them one day. then i will be a master strategist and stage a coup d'etat even. i really shouldn't let my mind stray while trying to study anymore

i compiled a list of all the things you can do that are still considered not so haraming here
1. walk
2. eat
[not necessarily in that order. and you can always change that walk to a hike or a jog or a run if you're really wild. oh and eating may include drinking as well. crazy huh? thank you. management]

one of my cousins thought i was upset with him yesterday because i scolded him earlier that evening. in hopes of getting me on his good side he tries to do my laundry. he puts in my clothes as is expected. plenty of detergent which is fine so far. and get this. a bottle of ink. why he thought that was necessary is beyond me. so i gotta go shopping. what are you two talkin about futbol what are you two talkin about shoppin. anyone who can name where that is from is a cool cucumber.

selflessness is hard to come by. maybe it goes unnoticed at times. even to find that sort of piety without the apathy is rare. i dare not say that i am that detached from material wealth as i would like to be. that sort of person is still in the making. i do know this. whether you lose or gain material wealth an alhumdulillah is in order

i'm not a burger person but of late we have been hanging out at this place in jinnah super called cafe grind. smalls 3rd party and i have been craving the same sandwhich which i'm sure they lace with cocaine because for days we can't stop talking about it and every bite is ecstasy. it's just a really good sandwhich one might say but i think not.

i'm going to be a romantic. i'm not talking about love and junx. i'm talking about being impractical. not doing things systematically. not being sensible. not fearing anything except Allah swt. feeling more and thinking less. plunging into the unknown. a rogue. yes! that's the beginning of my next master plan.

at the airport. waiting nano's arrival. yay! my best girl in the world is comin' home!

i realized today that i don't like to walk in the neighborhood for the same reason i didn't join a gym. not that i'll stop doing it because i don't like the subtle and sometimes not so subtle checking out going on but i wish it away. ok now i sound like a pansy. i wish it away? who says that anymore? i mean honestly.

jummah is my day off. i relaxed. lunching with the z's. after which i had a nap on their momma's waterbed. it was alien delight. i need one of those. it's a must have in every home. when i have my own home i'll put one in the family room and bask in the knowledge that all those who visit me will walk away happy

i can't button the top button of my jeans. this is not good. i have to do something about it. my food intake is alright. my laziness factor is holding me down. energy is not up to par. i know this because i've been told this. in fact, hyper kids make me angry. so my temper is too short too. i'll start exercising daily i think. this better be productive or ima eat and not do anything and be very angry at the same time.

so this grrrl at school is like i shouldn't be saying this but. when she said that i KNEW she was going to talk behind someone's back. so i quietly [and yes, quietly. i'm a very quiet person. like my friend said, people try to fill in the gaps about how they like to think you are when they read something like a blog which is only a glimpse of what they really know about you. she's smart. just think, you actually only get a max of 3 things from me a day. that's over 24 hours. that's not a lot. hence, i'm quiet. am i off on a tangent again? kher] SO. why the yelling you ask? yeah well i never. so i said in my softest tryna make her understand voice well if you think you shouldn't be saying it, you probably shouldn't. she was a little taken aback by that. i smiled politely [yes, i'm that too at times]. that was only initially. and then she's like but she's twisted. she said it anyway! and what is the point of this story? any questions? direct them this way *points to side door* i sure am wordsy these days. i wonder if it's all the stress from my exams. nah. probably not. eeek!

so this is my ode
to the place of my commode
yes you intrigue me with your pink flowers
yes i'm mesmerized by your grey leaves for some minutes even hours
no that paisely is not on the manly side
not even that orange and brown combo where you reside
sure they laugh at what i say
they'll come back to you anyway
matching soap that smells so bad that i beg of ya
how did that slippery slithery thing make its way into this jagga
with only a shower as your neighbor
maybe a sink as a shield and a brush as your saber
you are my one and only
toilet oh so lonely

while brushing my teeth

here's my stash of what else i like to think i can rhyme if you just can't get enough

for some reason i just had a little flashback to this kid in 7th grade who used to always wear a koolaid mustache in middle school. every day after lunch i would wonder should i tell him should i not? why won't his friends tell him? would he care if someone told him? would he want to do something about it if someone told him? or would he be driven by that sugary drink to ignore all else and live with the reputation of a koolaid mustache? i don't know whatever happened to that kid. all i know is that i wasn't able to pay attention in mr. nolan's social studies class all because of that stupid koolaid mustache. thanks to that mustache i got a C in his class. another mustache moment was when i saw one of my cousins the other day with a big old mustache. almost as wide as his face. here they say much nahi tay kuch nahi. that means if you don't have a mustache you don't have anything. go figure. those things just give me an uneasy feeling. mustache and beard combo makes sense. clean shaven if that may be your thing makes sense. see how good i am at foisting my own opinion on people? it's my blog so back up offa this piece. ok. focus. mustaches. why only do half the job? every time i see my cousin i threaten to slap that thing off his face. he laughs. he feels bad about it. we both get over it. i think in the back of mind i want to hurt his feelings bad enough for him to shave that thing off or grow a complimenting beard. isn't that awful? it's the truth. i have that mean streak in me. it probably feeds my nafs to be mean to others. gotta get that in check. among other things.

there's a student in 2nd year who has the exact same car i do. same make and model and year and color. in the beginning when i first started driving to school by myself and using the student parking lot sometimes i would think to myself what the i didn't park there and then realize that it wasn't mine. today when i was introduced to her owner by another 2nd year chic i related this to him. he pretended not to know what i was talking about. i wanted to point out that since there are all of 15 cars in student parking lot max how could he not but i didn't. i was polite. he's from foreign. *snicker* he has this british accent. it's the queen's english. it sounds like it's made up. i wanted to laugh at his face but i didn't out of plain courtesy. normally i would go ahead but since i've been studying here i've noticed that we have this unspoken bond with the other kids not educated in pakistan. we usually just discuss the struggles we're having with the system. but i've noticed the nods. it's not because we're arrogant about it. it's because we are discriminated against. many times by the teachers themselves. so in each other we find solace by complaining. so thats why i didn't laugh at him in front of everyone. i really wanted to though. so i'm writing about it. not as much fun.

well it was ego strokingly brought to my attention earlier that my contact info isn't up. read what you just did in an i've got old money sort of way. cause that's how i said it in my mind when i wrote it. i don't know if that's really important but one day it will be when my senses are acutely tuned to the masses and i can once again belong to the herd instead of civilization. i really don't know what i'm talking about either. so here it is. drop me a line at youareemalingchai@yahoo.com or message me on aim at iahcchai

i'm wearing a spiderman t-shirt i convinced my cousin to let me have. jealous? you oughta be! mark of a classy lady that there

so there's a co-rhyme to eenie meenie miney mo here. it goes a little sompin like this. akar bakar bumbay bo. asee navay puray saw. saw nikal kay dhaga. chor nikal kay bhaga. akar bakar bumbay bo. you do this on your fingers and anyone else contributing their 10. the digit that the 2nd bo lands on is out. and you put your finger in your mouth and shake it around and say awww dip. and start up on the rhyme again and you go around once again doing it on your 5 digits and any other friend who's willing to partake in your antics to lighten up everyone's mood. at the age of 26. i have these little escapes all too often. it's not cute like it used to be. like at 7.

meeting stories are great. for the sake of protecting the innocent i will keep the persons anonymous. so this one girl i know met her husband in a funny way. it went a little like this. she was in a fight with her bf. she writes out a text message in reply to his earlier message and sends it to the wrong person. wrong number. one digit off. the wrong person replies and says i think you sent me a message by mistake. she apologizes. life goes on. a couple of days later the wrong person is curious and has nothing better to do so he says is there anything i can do. she says no but thank you. he says are you sure. she says no thanks all civil like. a couple of more days later he says is everything ok. she says yes thanks. he says if you want to talk about it i'm here. she says no offense but you're a stranger and i don't want to talk about it with you. he says none taken but if you ever do you know i'm here. she says ok thanks. a couple of more days later he says hey how are you doing. she says i'm fine thanks. more text messages are exchanged and end on polite notes. after a while she says i don't think that you should be text messaging me i barely know you. so he says well that's not a good enough reason let's get to know each other. she says i'm in a relationship i'm not interested. he says to me it doesn't seem like it's a good relationship with all this fighting. she says it's aiiit. he says ok suit yourself. she says ok fine bye. he says ok but listen i really think you should leave him if he treats you the way he does. she says you have no business telling me what to do. he says i was just suggesting this. she says well i don't need any suggestions from a total stranger please don't text message me again. he says ok. a few days pass by. he says listen i know you told me to not text message you but i really think we should talk about this. she says there's nothing to talk about just leave me alone. he says i can't. she says you have to. he says he won't. she says go away or else. he says or else what. she says listen i tried to be polite. he says you're not giving me a chance and that's not trying to be polite. she says ok enough i'm going. he says don't. she says why not. he says we should meet. she says no thanks. he says please. she says what the hell. he says ok fine let's just talk for a while and then we can meet. she says no way take a hike. he says alright let's not get dramatic here. she says bye. a little while passes. tempers have subsided. niceness in place. he text messages her. she replies. they do this back and forth. they get to know each other. they start talking on the phone. they start trusting each other. they decide to meet. he goes to her house. she comes downstairs. he smiles. she smiles. he laughs and runs off. he knows she's the one. he makes it official by sending his sister. she accepts shyly. the story that's told to the adults is another version. a simpler version. they are now happily married. ahhh meeting stories. who's got one?

remember the cutting edge? where d. b. sweeney plays an ex ice hockey player turned figure skater who's partner is a real pain? ok remember when they've just won one of the competitions and they're celebrating and right before his partner's boyfriend announces that him and his partner are engaged and everyone's talking and to his partner's father he's like "am i right, jack? am i right?" that line's been running through my head all afternoon distracting me from studying for my anatomy exam. the cruciate anastomosis is formed by the am i right jack am i right arghhh! curse thee d. b. sweeney. what a funny name. anyone know what the d and b stands for? i best go estudy.

i want to bite someone who can give me basboosa fever. i miss raf

check out this pretty little thing. thanks to amansuri for the suggestion. i know where my birthday cash money is going

you know the snowball effect? well it's how i would describe my study habits right now. or lack thereof. my study face is ON

happy 84th birthday nano!

ok wow. this is my 501st post.

i would drink the homemade butterscotch sauce that aniraz made if she would let me

the z's fed me enough sugar to give me a nosebleed. i like birthday parties

happy birthday abez!

happy birthday ism!
happy defense day pakistan!

i've been itching to move some furniture all morning but i can't lift the pieces in the study. i wonder if others can relate. anyway i need something a little bit more aesthetically pleasing because i've been trapped here for days now.

baji's officially lost to the world of happily married couples. congratulations!

inverted snobbery is my only defense. nana ji and nano are with mummy so she hasn't called. for a while now. for a long while. oh the humanity! i'm going to have to do something absurd like spend lots of money to get attention. i hope i'm being missed because i'm going to try to make sure they pay for it. or at least my parents. what a terrible daughter i am.

can m come out to play?

i overheard a husband and wife speaking to each other softly in punjabi. at least i hope it was a married couple to keep the sweetness untainted. he leaned over and said something that sounded like tu hasni tay kayni soni lugdi [when you laugh you look really nice]. the lady smiled after trying to avoid gazing in his direction. i thought to myself *sigh* that's beautiful. and then i went traipsing around looking for some ribena. i've been having this crazy craving for ribena. and oh yeah. spicy beef. exactly. i don't get myself sometimes

i have a gas station bf. always places his hand on his heart and does that slight bow as he says asalaamalaikum. always smiles that winning extra. always asks if i'll pay by card knowing full well that i will. always plays an apologetic role when the card takes a while. always sincerely thanks me once i've paid. always so polite. but that's not what this is all about. it's about forgetting to be kind. when i'm in a hurry i'm rarely kind. i don't make eye contact. i even avoid smiling because it tends to be encouraging. and it really makes me angry when men here pretend not to hear correctly or understand what is said so that they can talk or look that lingering look longer. i'm just so angry. it must be that rock music.

ok! i just got done reading this book! i was getting tired of reading the heavy stuff in my textbooks! thought i would chill with something less likely to be tested on later! and every other sentence in this book ended with a !! i can't stop yelling! ouch! i have a headache now!