i start my driving lessons tomorrow. that should be a blast. har har.

crunch time. only a week left until the big day.

yesterday i saw:
1 bike
1 man
1 woman
2 kids
1 infant
it doesn't get much better than this.

faisal masjid is walking distance from my grandparents' place. jummah is fun [by the way, jummah mubarak] but i have my protests. khutba is only in arabic without any translation. womenz be talking during the khutba. lining up for prayer is a hassle. and by that i mean it's a nightmare. last week fat lady sat on my leg and gave me that pinch that's her weight against the ground. after she shoved me to line me up with her toes instead of her heels. menz be eyein' right after the salah. body odor. but you know what. alhumdulillah. nothing like praying in the open on a cool marble floor. can't wait for today.

took the cousins to food street. 9 of us. Rs. 1900 including tip. ridiculous.

eid saeid all y'alls

saw the chaand. beautiful. made some mad duas.

i've been found out! another one of my real life friends busted me on naseeb.com. oh the humanity! so i think i'm going to have to take a little breaky break break. not just that. my parents sent me an invitation. i don't know if that's a cruel joke or well what else could it be? i curse the day they became internet savvy.

waking up to adhan for fajr is the bestest.

i feel underappreciated. speaking blogwise. do you know how hard it is to stay connected? i didn't think so.

What's up Chai Fans? You all smell like Updog!

the timings on this blog are jacked up.

gonna get some churiyaan for eid right now. awe yeah!

check this. let me know what y'all think.

tonight might be THE night. let's do dis right [inshAllah]

i love that what should take an hour to do takes several days to get done here. not just that, everyone's got a pretty bad attitude until the name dropping starts. good God there's been a lot of that. nepotism like the day is long.

is my cousin cool or what???

i hate when you try to alt-tab to a different screen when your coworker walks by, and accidentally you fall upon something more incriminating than what you were really wasting time with. like, switching from looking at bbc news to a chat window. so i try to play it off by just typing random keys on the screen, so it looks like im doing something, and then that calls off some other Windows keyboard shortcut that maximizes the chat window to the whole screen, so everyone can see in plain sight my conversation concerning me not doing anything at work. spectacular.

i'm in pakistan. got in a couple of days ago. alhumdulillah the trip was easy. more on that later. just wanted to drop something in for those of you who were losing interest. interest isn't good anyway. that stuff is haramin' so ayan did a pretty decent job keeping up the place. can we all give him a hand or takbeer? ok this is only a blog. no need to get all emotional like. i have so much to comment on but i have to catch up on some mad emails that are cluttering up my inbox. peace aaaout!

Man whatsup with every junral store in all of Pakistan putting "PVT" and "LTD" on the end of their name? Is that some attempt to legitimize a place of business? The real treat is when they slap both of them on in a display of fedecuiary superiority. Yahhh ve are privatized AND limited..AB KIA? "REAL CHEAP JULERS PVT. LTD." is a true example from the rugged streets of karachi I remember so very distinctly. I miss alot of things from that grand ole land, but I miss the smells the most. The endless variations are confusing, amusing, and perturbing at times. The way there is no easing into one, it just sorta hits you... like a guy screaming cusses at you in urdu riding a motorcycle at 100kilos-ph. Everything is so real. And that "Mall road", it must run the entire length of Pakistan. Anwyay, I was just reminiscing, excuse my subpar non seque'd soliloquy, stated in a startling session of stereotypes, yet steeped in sagacity. more on pakistan later.

ok you people have put too much pressure for me to perform here. i can't deal with this STRESS.. I CANt!!!!

takin ower

I've decided im staking my claim on this ground, as I refuse to set up my own blog site.
Ill try to represent chai's flavor, because of her resprite in pakistan.

travelling is cool but i get all nervous. nervous pervous. nervous pervaiz. i'm wired. yay.

we were thinking about how to spend the last couple of hours while i'm here with the family so my sister suggests watching old home videos. then we realize all of them include us fighting. all our family movies consist of fighting whether it's in the u.s., pakistan, mexico, canada, england, france, burma...

TC

take care of yoself, bring me bak some nice chatni!
iahcchai from irc n blog will be in my dua!

got my nails did. i feel utterly girlie right now. i recommend everyone get manicures and pedicures. if you worry about your masculinity get only the pedicure.

i need to buy a laptop. today. help.

NooOOOO! CHAII! DON'T GOOOOOOOO!! ;)

ok i'm bemused. i just got done talking on the phone with a friend of mine right. this is the first conversation after a long time. it's more like a goodbye i'm leaving the country so attempt to say you miss me and then i'll fake promise to write to you and then we'll probably forget each other and when we see each other next then we'll blame each other for not keeping in touch type of conversation than a regular conversation. for whatever reason it strays to a variety of topics and at one point i'm called a prude because i'm "just a sheep in wolf's clothing" so my retort wasn't really up to par due to the overall tiredness thanks to my day and i end with "what's with the B movie dialogue?" and my friend's reply to that is "you're not serious enough, with people or yourself" now if my friends ever find this blog they'll know exactly who i'm talking about because this is the way he deals with goodbyes. and by that i mean not really dealing with someone leaving and actually just making a "situation" out of it. maybe for drama's sake. i don't know. it was just a shame that it had to go like that.

my cousin just sent this link to me about antacids reaching an all time high during Ramadan.

kulsoom might come over for iftar tonight. jealous? you oughta be!

guess what was on the radio right before i switched it to npr??? c'mon. guess. ok. here's a clue. it starts with a b and ends with a rass monkey. that's riiight! brass monkey that funky monkey brass monkey junkie that funky monkey.

2nd half of the dinner conversation between ismael and myself was in clicks. the party never ends.

today is the day for haphazard yet brief shopping for some of the folks in pakistan. mummy is going to bring the rest of the stash on dec 18th when they come but i can't go there empty handed. what i find particularly amusing is that the request list inlcudes plenty o' socks. now these aren't just any socks. these are toe socks. who thought that one up? they go on like gloves but on your feet. how bizarre. how bizarre.

little red corvette baby you're much 2 fast. happy vet day.

ok so here are my health insurance troubles. i call them up to tell them i'm going to be leaving the country for the next few months on vacation so they say to qualify for the insurance you just have to be a resident of in. so i am. so no problem. then i realize that i have a ga driver's license which i got made here because it had expired. to get one made you have to show a current address or what not and i was able to come up with the correct documents to prove that i was living in ga. now. let's say i get sick again. can my insurance company say that i'm a ga resident because i have a ga license and therefore do not qualify for it?

i'm leaving for pakistan this saturday!!!

every ramadan during sahoor we victimize a single object and constant barraging of insufferable jokes begins. this year it's my mom's new teapot. we were mocking the methodology behind it's use. jokes consisted of inflight measures taken on the teapot and the physics behind pouring a cup. more jokes to come. can't wait. i like to beat a good joke into the ground. with my family to avail it's more than a manageable task.

well, give me land, lots of land under starry skies above
but don’t fence me in
let me ride through that wide open country that i love
don’t fence me in
let me be by myself in the evenin’ breeze
listen to the murmur of the cottonwood trees
send me off forever but i ask you please
don’t fence me in
just turn me loose, let me straddle my old saddle
underneath the western skies
on my cayuse, let me wander over yonder
till i see the mountains rise
i want to ride to the ridge where the west commences
gaze at the moon till i lose my senses
i don’t like walls and i can’t stand fences
don’t fence me in
oh no don’t you fence me in
- louis armstrong [don't fence me in]

yesterday kill bill and matrix revolutions were passed up for elf. HILarious! jon favreau is a genius.

so i might be going to med school in pakistan. just found that out this morning. advice?

so my parents' previous bed was fun to get a running start on and jump into because you bounced up. their new bed. not so good. you jump you land you sink.

why do i keep watching the cooking channel during ramadan?

icna 2003 here we come!

whether on a concious level or not i now realize that i've started to expect a cult like following. i don't want to do that. i don't want to expect anything. i don't want to become the monster i so detest. i profusely apologize if i've been like that.

saw a riced out honda accord. i can deal with that. but what i can't fathom is a guy in a business suit pushing 40 thinking it's ok to do so. PEOPLE. understand this. when you reach a certain age you cannot participate in anything souped up. you lose your privileges. there's no choice in the matter.

woo ha! it's aliiive!

alright betas i'm just trying out this link bidness. if you like to post then you'll like this.

ikki ikki ikki got spare time like the day is long.

this morning was spent with my ami at this appliance store. we looked at gas stoves, electric ovens, fridge and freezer combos, dishwashers, microwaves, vent hoods, food warmers and what not. the whole time we're going over black, stainless steel or charcoal [resembles gun metal according to the lady in the know] finishes i'm thinking about how my life is spiraling out of control and i'm letting it because i have no choice.

does it strike you odd as it does me that all children in our race are taller than their respective parents? i seriously doubt i'm generalizing. the bovine growth hormone they're pumping into cows is to be blamed. as a consumer i feel you and i both need to know. who's got more on this?

i like that i know martial arts. i like that i know how your arms, legs, etc. can and cannot move and the fastest way to make sure they move the way they aren't supposed to. i like that i can put my brother in a lock and still be at ease while he's so uncomfortable. i don't like that my brother doesn't forgive me so easily as has been the case since 3:31p today.

my lips are chapped. hurt like a mother.

comparatively this new mango juice we've got for ramadan is almost as delish as an itchy scab.

at times i feel diabolical. right now could be one of them.

end everything you say with baaa. it's stupider than it sounds.

there are nights when my parents aren't home. we call those savage nights. use your imagination. tonight's going to be fun good times.

went to hotlanta with my new found best friend.

planning on strutting some churiyaan tonight. awe yeah.