the funny thing about practicing self control is that you have to judge yourself. and that's always tough to do because you may have put up your own boundaries but when do you see yourself crossing them? like when you tell yourself you won't speak up when someone is making it a point to be right. although you could retaliate with a coherent and persuasive argument you just know that it's going to spread something bad about if you say anything. even if the person is being a complete and utter fool to make it a point to show that he/she is right and you know exactly how to shut them up it's better to keep silent and hence keep the peace. but what if you feel like you're being stepped on? or worse. what if you feel like someone else is being stepped on? do you go ahead and say what it is that you are thinking and decisively keep them quiet or even show anger or resentment towards you? or do you take it. in my limited experience i take it. and make dua for myself that i don't feel angry or frustrated. and dua for the other person so that they don't do bad without knowing and that if they do it with the knowledge then they have the sense to stop. and then for the victim. although i'm quick to pick up on someone else's dirty work i won't react. maybe that comes with age. i know it ain't wisdom