almost every evening we sit with nana ji before he goes off to sleep to massage him. it's called moothe here. some one grabs his feet. another person grabs his legs. someone gets his back/neck. he never refuses. apart from the obvious reasons of allowing his body to relax i think another reason is how good it feels to be touched. that's more important than a kind word sometimes. i remember nano's hugs [may Allah swt have mercy on her] and man did they ever fix everything momentarily. hugs were unlimited. now even the basic quota is hardly filled with my khalas/mamii around. sometimes it makes me so sad i can't speak. actually i think that's what happened initially. when she passed away i wanted to quickly escape everything and tried to stay at home as little as possible. any time nana ji talks of her with fondness i have to run off like a little pansy so nana ji doesn't see me crying. i can't possibly imagine the heartbreak he feels but unfortunately i can't do anything about it. i feel paralyzed myself when any other family member brings up a good memory of her. i miss her so much