sometimes my nano and i sit on the veranda while it's cool during these short summer nights and we talk. she talks a lot about the family. it's nice because i get to know my extended family. the other night she was talking about my dada ji. they are siblings. my parents are cousins. but that's for another time dearies. she was telling me about how caring my dada ji was and how my dadi ji didn't get married after he passed away because how good he was to her. she was telling me the loving way that he used to treat my dadi ji. you know, at the end of the day, that's what i want. i want to be adored. is that egotistical? i'm at that age when i'm seriously thinking about these qualities. and by qualities i mean showing how much i care and being shown how much i'm cared for. not just improving them in myself but looking for them in other people. when you start looking past the superficial people who are fun to be around only during your good times you find mostly egotistical heartless beings who deep down have this cool attitude. the cool attitude that's too cool to care. i'm a little taken back by the type of people i meet these days. and these days as in these last couple of years when i've started looking past just the basic company and for qualities. i wish for the old days when your friendships lasted only until the playground and where you didn't think much about commitment and caring and what not.