giving and expecting. you know when you keep giving to a person and regardless of how many times you think to yourself i don't expect anything from them no matter what i do you are at a loss. you will expect from them in the end. and when they cannot deliver then you are like i mentioned earlier at a loss. you expect from them not because you are greedy or you think you will get some benefit out of them if you give them something. whether time money or gifts. you don't do it out of the sake of investing in that person to help them. but you do have expectations and not because of all those things but because you are human. it's just that it's so annoying when you know you shouldn't expect anything because people haven't given you a reason to expect anything from them but you do it anyway. what a fool i am.