i live a crazy life. as is partly reflected in my writing. i'm sure it's clear as day. and so my grandparents worry about me. and rightly so. it's just that there is so much madness involved to get permission here that it's discouraging. like today we planned on going to visit my cousin and her husband right. that's a 1 hour and 15 minute road trip. it's not far at all compared to the indiana to georgia road trips i have been doing all by myself. all thanks to AAA triptiks. the roads aren't what they used to be. they are paved now. nano's guddi is pretty dependable. and by pretty i mean everything except for the cd player which we'll have to squeeze in to listen to anything the whole way so we'll probably get bored and start getting on each other's nerves. staying on subject, it's hard to get permission to go out because i get the oh you've never lived here. although i've been here for the last 5 months. and oh it's very dangerous. although i went to new york city with a friend of mine and stayed there for a month. and oh you're a girl. although i've been one all my life i try not to discourage myself. so what i'm saying is that for such a sober person as myself i should get permission more easily than what i went through today. like when you're a good student you can get some money off your car insurance. that concept put into my life would give me incentive not only to do good but to. i forgot what i was saying. but you know how you get permission for something you really really really wanted and then you don't want it anymore because you can get permission for it now. that's how i work. i'll probably change though. and then i'll hate who i am and then everyone will love me. yay.