there's a calmness that surrounds me when i say my prayers with all my heart. to be brutally honest, i feel like i pray maybe once or twice a year. although i attempt all 5 on a daily basis. what i accomplish with that is the satisfaction that i fulfilled my duty as a muslim. which is not enough. which is empty. i know. if that once or twice a year prayer happened more often i believe i would be a reformed person every time i said salaam to the angels. those are some high hopes. unfortunately i only make time for those types of prayers when i'm in dire need. that is not an excuse. the lack of time i mean. that is the bitter truth. and it's going to change. i'm going to change. inshAllah