when i was younger i was really conscious about what people thought. especially as a teen. i think i still am to this day. but it definitely doesn't concern the same issues. i used to worry about what people thought about me being a muslim. and after a while i stopped caring. not about being a muslim. but about what people thought about me being one. and i'm happier that way. at the end of the day nobody really cares what you are. as long as you're not a threat. so i go about my own business as others go about theirs. i just wish i had realized that sooner. it's so much easier once you've made that choice to not care about what others think and know that your words and actions are only to please Allah swt. because up until that point that's what you believe. that you have no choice but to care about what others think. or how others want you to be. and for a while i had myself fooled. telling myself i really don't care what people think. but knowing it and acting on it a 2 different steps. jummah mubarak friends

be yourself. what does that really mean? i am a crazy person if i were to be myself. i can't be the same with everyone. it's not done. i'm not going to talk with my grandfather the same way i talk to a friend of mine. that would be weird. i'm different personalities all the time. iii'm crazy

that retching that comes prior to vomiting leaves enough blood vessels shot on your face to get that "ew" look from others thinking it's a gross rash. me? i'm not thrilled about it but i'll live

talking to a friend of mine today we were discussing fruits and vegetables. guess old people do that now. we were talking about how much we enjoy fruits. some are so expensive and you have to eat them sparingly but you can't pass it up. and then we came to that fateful fruit the papaya. ooo how i dislike thee intensely. has anyone else been deluded by it? has anyone else gone to someone's house thinking they are mangos peeled and cut into beautiful succulent pieces of yellow/orange flesh and placed in a huge collection in a bowl for you waiting to be assailed? yeah well i have and it wasn't pretty finding out that i had been cheated

personally i feel people don't get to say the jig is up as often as they ought to

please welcome another bloogie in the family. thaliyaan!

my friend brought me flowers. they were sprayed turquoise. that's a first. and hopefully a last too

i'm so messy. i mean really. it doesn't mean you're unclean. cause i think i'm crazy about being clean. but that messiness i can't evade. it's funny how that works. clean clothing lays in piles all around the room. folded nicely on top of the sofa and the table. on the other hand. i won't wear clothing of mine that i've already tried on without washing it first. i won't wear the same clothing two days in a row unless it's a scarf or i'm traveling. i won't wear brand new clothing without washing it at least once. trust i've ruined many a silk but i'm getting better at not doing that though. you know. being crazy

things are. right now. with me. not good. please pray. inshAllah for whatever is best for me. and that i am patient enough to not complain and get through this time

jummah mubarak and g'morning. i am an old lady. there is no fighting it any longer. i read with my lips moving and i don't care! sometimes if i'm mad at someone i will look at them and just read a small surah to myself but look at them in a not nice way to make it look like i'm saying mean things to them under my breath. i am getting sneakier with age. and i like to do pointless things even more instead of maturing into a fine young lady i will just skip the not so fun part and chill out in old lady life for that is the good life

alright so you know when you do something stupid. like in a burst of trust you tell someone something another person said to you about them. and you do the very stupid thing and take names. and then you realize how very very very stupid you were. and you don't know how to fix it. and then that loss you feel. the loss of trust from the person who initially told you something about that person. then in a fit of guilt you tell the person who initially told you something about that person what you did. and that feeling. yeah. i'm feelin' it. stupid stupid stupid! if i wasn't so tired i would smack my own forehead. i need to get out of this high school way of life and quit looking for outside confirmation. knowwhadamsayin yaar?

you guys know fati lati won't let me view my own blog. don't you? guess now you do. and that is why i haven't been as diligent when it comes to replying

what is happening to me? i'm metamorphosizing. that's not a word. is it? i don't care. do i? apart from the smiley/frowny face type of person i am a second guesser too. eeek

yes. that was a smiley face at the end of my sentence. or a frowny face. i now do such things

the amount of dairy consumed by myself in the past few days can't be good. and by that mean i didn't think it was humanly possible *groan* :(

another bloogie. go vote for her!

i now know what to do if i were to ever own a land cruiser close to a desert

oh yeah and tomorrow we go for a desert safari wheee!

perfect timing. mwah! excellencio. alright so this is how it went down...aniraz got to abez's apt demanding chai. oh cause she's an addict and all. that was my cue. i run out there yelling did someone say they wanted chai? here i am! and then i got attacked. that skinny little thing poked me while hugging me and then screamed. it was an outright attack. that's gonna go down in history as one of the cooler moments though

about cool jummmah's. i'm at abez and waleed's apt in dubai waiting to surprise aniraz and damomma. jummah mubarak

stupid drunk sitting next to me during the london to dubai leg didn't let me sleep at all. on a good note i did get to wear flip flops and ate everything on my tray. and i mean everything. i was going to eat the wax off the edam cheese too but i didn't want to be asked why by the fool sitting next to me

peaaace i'm outta here

so these last few days in the states were packed with marlene, marlene and more marlene. thanks chic. you're still my number one girl. ok in the state of indiana. but that is pretty good too

only a year ago my nano passed away. please pray for her. i miss her so much still. so much has changed but i always remember her. i'm so fortunate to have such an amazing woman in my life. alhumdulillah

wherever i end up. i don't wanna leave. it's weird. you would think i would grow up a bit or get used to it by now. but it's always so hard to leave my parents. and now that i've been living with nana ji it's even more difficult. this kind of change i don't welcome. well. any kind of change i usually don't welcome. but this i especially. ok i guess i should go and finish packing

did all the cute kids run out that they're doing all these ads with the ugly ones? i haven't watched tv in a while but i want to see pretty people. where's the fantasy world i want to switch to with a remote?

you're never going to believe how but today was the best jummah ever! alhumdulillah

oh my God. everybody. and i mean everybody. i said that twice to emphasize its importance. needs to fly the new emirate planes. oh MAN. i didn't want to sleep so i could do everything available for entertainment. starting from watching all the movies from the beginning [pause for cultural cross ref: how do you say beginning? hee!] i'm here in ga now. tada!

that's part of my going away party. shamelessly stinkies sitting on my bed. fortunately i had nothing to do with it as is clearly seen by their complete lack of awareness of what i'm doing

a nutrigrain as a snack is excellent. if only there was no aftertaste. is it the preservatives? usually requires another nutrigrain bar to get rid of that. what a tangle web we weave [you know i said weawe. i'm local now] or i may just be hungry

not that it was difficult. but never had the patience. finally learned how to play backgammon. thank you

i'm sick of classmates.com pop up ads. like i need to re live bad hair again. speaking of. what's the worst haircut you've ever had?

mummy still shops for me. there are somethings i think oh there is no way i'm even touching that. forget wearing it. yeah well she gets it and i wear it and everyone loves it. after a while. including me. even though at first i would think it's a little "over" how does she do that?

jummah mubrook and good news. i'm going to be in ga by next week. yay! only for a few days though. boo. but i'll get to go to in too. yay! i get to see all the important people. yay! especially nana ji! yay!

the other day my friend and i traded some cd's. i got 3. when i saw elvis's greatest hits on the top of the pile i wasn't amused. some could say i was bemused. thinking to myself this kid feels i might enjoy this more than something more recent? do i give off these vibes? the 2nd one was zepplin so i felt a little cool. although i enjoyed the elvis tunes way more

fati lati's down. i can't even view my own blog. i may have to put her to sleep. and maybe fati too