Friday, April 30, 2004

here are a few things on my mind:
tuki khala and rafay's birthday today. 29 and 1. khe! that was a snort type sound but i didn't want to go with the usual.
i feel pretty popular these days. there's a chic in my class who invited me to go to her sister's wedding. i would go but that would be so uncool of me. mostly because i was supposed to be at the z's residence for esl night tonight. they be crazy.
it's a good thing i'm doing family oriented things. it makes me feel whole. seeing that my family is all in parts across the globe. and by that i mean i'm here and they are there. you clear?
i want emails yous guys. i checked my account today and got not a one. i guess that was a real downer after checking my email after a week or so and feeling like i was on top of the world.
speaking of on top of the world there's a cd that sub z has that's titled black music. that's funny.
wanna know what else is funny? today at the market i saw a girl with her pinky toe outside her chappal. she needed it as an aid so she kept it outside the chappal parameters. like training wheels.

Thursday, April 29, 2004

acute gastroenteritis is in the air. i figure i shouldn't be getting it several times a week. ya think?

Wednesday, April 28, 2004

must mawsum!

Tuesday, April 27, 2004

braids are cute. when you say chootiya it's even cuter. i can't make a braid on others or myself but i like them. i admit i even like the two braids on the side. it's a little inappropriate for a person my age to have two braids. but who am i to start being appropriate now. so today i asked my cousin to put my hair in a braid and i've been prancing. yes. prancing. around with a braided head. sometimes you can't help but be cute. i can't help it i tell ya. sounds vain? it's true.

Monday, April 26, 2004

compliments and apologies. i don't know how to deal with either. i just end up being uncomfortable and that ends there. i mean not that i don't like it when people say nice things about me or i'm usually one to forgive because i forget. but i'm no good at showing it. like earlier today my friend said something about me looking nice and i just looked at her for a while and then i was like are you serious and she's like yeah and i was oh ok. that was it. or the other day my cousin was saying something about being sorry about being late and i just stared at him and then started up a conversation with my other cousin. i don't know how to behave when in either situation. if the case is reversed i can deal with it. i'm quick to give a stranger a compliment or say sorry if i'm wrong but when it's not like that then i'm lost.

Sunday, April 25, 2004

i might have to turn to a life of crime. i can't seem to make ends meet and i'm getting quite a hefty allowance to stay here so it's a pretty pathetic situation because i know the problem i just don't know how to deal with it. what is it about me and money that just doesn't stay. as i mentioned to my friends, i've unwittingly become that person who CONVENIENTLY has an empty wallet every time it's time to pay. i'm not like that. honest. on the flip side. i can use plastic here which how do you say ROCKS!!!

Saturday, April 24, 2004

i had a face off with a cockroach this morning before fajr. i was too tired to go use the other bathroom so i just gently placed the dust bin [which actually only collects dust and is seldom used for any other purpose than to throw away used q-tips in but that's another story for another time dearies] on top of it. i heard the crunch. said astagfirAllah. and continued with my bidness. no reaction. none whatsoever.

Friday, April 23, 2004

listen closely and you'll hear a heart truly suffering
do i say alhumdulillah to my fancy tv screen's buffering?
a simple short dua to do something for this ummah's future
once my feelings are under control all intentions to suture
no instant solution to instant awareness issues
how i ache as this festering cage of ignorance ensues

while watching what's going on in sudan

Thursday, April 22, 2004

i'm addicted to popcorn. it's not even that good here. i'm talking about the one that's called korneez. i don't like it all that much it's just that when i get the munchies i gotta just gotta gotta gotta have those. but i don't like them particularly. isn't that weird?
note to self: remember that chic who always said isn't that weird even if it was perfectly normal because she wanted to be thought of as weird because she thought that would make her cool and remember how you hated her for doing that.
mmm mmm mmm. it's raining out and i'm in the mood to dance.
long days and short nights. it's so hard to stay up at night and so hard to get up in the mornings. my mouth has that funny dry feeling you get when you take steroids. not that i am

Wednesday, April 21, 2004

giving and expecting. you know when you keep giving to a person and regardless of how many times you think to yourself i don't expect anything from them no matter what i do you are at a loss. you will expect from them in the end. and when they cannot deliver then you are like i mentioned earlier at a loss. you expect from them not because you are greedy or you think you will get some benefit out of them if you give them something. whether time money or gifts. you don't do it out of the sake of investing in that person to help them. but you do have expectations and not because of all those things but because you are human. it's just that it's so annoying when you know you shouldn't expect anything because people haven't given you a reason to expect anything from them but you do it anyway. what a fool i am.

Tuesday, April 20, 2004

ain't nothing like fajr time creativity.

a moment a muslim the moment struggle begins
actualize goals only to regret past sins
admittedly openly a slave
to no one else claiming to cave
my Lord what are they doing?
even thinking to turn a blind eye to trouble brewing

while practicing in pakistan

Monday, April 19, 2004

the taxi haggle. i didn't know there was one. the first time i took one from school to my khala's place the guy's like baji jo be aap chaain [whatever you want] when i asked him how much it would cost. so i told him to tell me and he's like ok and i was charged rs.50. i thought that was acceptable for a 15 minute ride. now i know better. i was pumped by my cousin about how to deal and to pay only rs.40. so the other day i'm like how much to take me to so and so? for rs.40? i said it in a question form so he's like baji rs.50 lagay gain. i'm like no. and i do the fake about to walk away and he's like bayt jaain. apparently haggling doesn't work in clothing stores alone.

Sunday, April 18, 2004

i'm back in town. all's well. alhumdulillah. we left late and we were exhausted from singing because the cd player was busted but refused to sleep and stayed up until we were too tired to even gup shup. road trips are cool. you really find out if you like the people you think you like enough to have a road trip with. either you just can't stay away from each other and are forced to call each other every few minutes to the point where you see each other so much you no longer have anything to say to each other to the point where it's embarassing and only a whole bunch of silent moments and starring off into space but you are now obff. officially best friends forever. it's cooler to say obff. or. you're like oh it's you when you see them next. usually everyone feels the same. there are times when people feel different about it but that's rare and the person who does is now annoying and you find out that you really shouldn't have had that road trip with them. you find out a lot about a person if the road trip is long enough. because then it's like a mini vacation you're taking with them and you've got all those inside jokes. man. i miss marlene.

Saturday, April 17, 2004

i live a crazy life. as is partly reflected in my writing. i'm sure it's clear as day. and so my grandparents worry about me. and rightly so. it's just that there is so much madness involved to get permission here that it's discouraging. like today we planned on going to visit my cousin and her husband right. that's a 1 hour and 15 minute road trip. it's not far at all compared to the indiana to georgia road trips i have been doing all by myself. all thanks to AAA triptiks. the roads aren't what they used to be. they are paved now. nano's guddi is pretty dependable. and by pretty i mean everything except for the cd player which we'll have to squeeze in to listen to anything the whole way so we'll probably get bored and start getting on each other's nerves. staying on subject, it's hard to get permission to go out because i get the oh you've never lived here. although i've been here for the last 5 months. and oh it's very dangerous. although i went to new york city with a friend of mine and stayed there for a month. and oh you're a girl. although i've been one all my life i try not to discourage myself. so what i'm saying is that for such a sober person as myself i should get permission more easily than what i went through today. like when you're a good student you can get some money off your car insurance. that concept put into my life would give me incentive not only to do good but to. i forgot what i was saying. but you know how you get permission for something you really really really wanted and then you don't want it anymore because you can get permission for it now. that's how i work. i'll probably change though. and then i'll hate who i am and then everyone will love me. yay.

Friday, April 16, 2004

hey do you ever wonder what i'm doing while i'm writing? i do too sometimes. well wonder no more! i'm at abez and aniraz's and they made me wear this hat that says victory hat i win! dhl express. that is after beating me severely in scrabble.

Thursday, April 15, 2004

we had a blood drive at our school today. i volunteered in coming up with slogans. had a good old time with that. some of them i was just being stupid in and they're like oh this is nice. i'm sure they think i'm a fool. but get this. they still posted them up. i laughed. inside only. if only they knew! now i sound like i'm crazy.

Wednesday, April 14, 2004

it's my liver's 5th birthday. i wanna rock n roll all night. and party every day. current status: alhumdulillah.

Tuesday, April 13, 2004

vegetables over there taste like say raw potatoes compared to over here.

Monday, April 12, 2004

got a headache. hurts like a mother. i know some of you know exactly what that's like. don't deny it.

Sunday, April 11, 2004

i could go for a game of chess right now. any takers? please please. settle down now. line forms to the left.

Saturday, April 10, 2004

we have this gang. it's enviable. it's comprised of bhai sub z and myself. we don't do much. just drive around looking for people to beat up. ok so not really. but we plan to. you know. just to keep up with our reputation. which is nonexistant at this point in time but in no time it'll be the talk of the town.

Friday, April 09, 2004

so we had our interclass debate competition today. it was fun. until the debates started. then it was really fun. first of all there was a whole bunch of senseless cheering. which was expected. cause. well. there are only so few outlets to really show up here. during all of the debates there were plenty of boos. oh and what they call hooting. as opposed to rooting. all fine and dandy until the 2nd year girls got a little rowdy and started cursing the 1st year girls out. that was uncalled for but that wasn't the best part. the debates were in english, urdu and punjabi. yeah. i said punjabi. everyone went ape when they started up the punjabi debates. i'm not talking about the crowd. i'm talking about the debaters. there was a point when one of the debatees. is that a word? started telling the 4th year class to shut up. at that point it was on. and by that i mean there was some direct use of abusive language and so they had to have some of the professors make the kids settle down. it was the best debate i have ever been to in my life.

Thursday, April 08, 2004

every few minutes answer with: OH NO! WHAT HAVE YOU KIA? fun good times.

Wednesday, April 07, 2004

my physiology professor speaks like the bad guy in the matrix. all slow and accurate. mostly just annoying.

Tuesday, April 06, 2004

new car's name is nano's gaddi.

Monday, April 05, 2004

bank hours. bank hours are from 9a - 1:30p. my school hours are from 8a - 2p. i have to negotiate with the guard every time. i think he thinks i'm pretty official looking with my nametag and lab coat. i strut some english to really keep him on his toes but he might just get fed up with my act real quick like. ok the point of this post is that they make you sign the check on the front once and on the back twice. and if you mess up the check say by putting the month before the day then you sign again next to the date. i had 2 checks. i'm pretty sure i don't take that many notes in a day.

Sunday, April 04, 2004

yo it's 04/04/04. societal norms dictate i don't walk in public by myself. eating all highly curried foods all the time and living this high curry life dictates overfatitude. i gotta quit making up my own words. check yo self. before you wreck yo self. here's how to check your body mass index [bmi] if you know your height and your weight according to a formula.

Saturday, April 03, 2004

i am currently suspect. my nano busted me running and jumping onto my makeshift bed in the study. it's a wonder that she even let's me out on my own.
spring break nazis. all of them. we don't get a spring break. i wanted to go to visit my cousins. i needed to go to spend some cashmoney on clothes. i hoped to get some time off from school to relax with the family. i should be right now chilling with my girls. reading trashy novels. and complaining about how tough it is to be a med estudent instead of staring blankly out the window. oh and get this. instead of the spring break promised to us in april. carved in stone for eternity to come in the prospectus. we get gipped and we get a sports week. ok all year we haven't done anything that requires movement because we're trapped under books and they want us to compete with each other. there's a boys' cricket team. a boys' basketball team. a girls' table tennis team. oh i don’t mind all this. it’s just that attendance is mandatory. gaiety exudes.
summer fun here #90573428975834725: sweat marks on sandals. even if you just wore them for maybe a few minutes they are there. every time i do wudu i feel like my feet go back into sweaty sandals. it's not because they do. it just feels like that because of the marks alright. i have to get me a pair of batas. buy betta batas beta.

Friday, April 02, 2004

i ruined my computer. i ruined my academic record. let's see what i can do about my mental stability. oh yeah. party. because it's my grandparents' 57th wedding anniversary. wrote a poem about it. like to hear it? email me.
let's talk soap status. i hate soap ends. i started using bar soap again a while back when i realized the liquid soap thing just wasn't cutting it for some reason. that's a lot of unnecessary background but as always you have that option to getoothojao get out ho jao: go ahead and get out. that's a made up word of the two worlds. ok back to disliking soap ends. i don't know anyone who likes them. or has mentioned liking them. not that i discuss these things with my family and friends to know how they feel about soap ends but there it is. the end of a soap. the end of an era. i'm not good at goodbyes so it never ends easy. depending on where it's placed in the shower it's either too soft to handle and can merge into the new soap entity or it's so tough there will be no merging and it must be used or wasted. my current condition is the latter. i had to scrape between my hands just to get a little bit of foam out of there. it wasn't easy but i didn't waste. that was the point. don't waste that soap end regardless of how much you detest it.

Thursday, April 01, 2004

i'm looking at my notes for biochemistry. most of it's in code. it's going to take me a few days just to weed through and decipher all of these. it's a good thing i have until thursday to unravel this mystery. ok i'm stressing out about an exam. i need some really loud music to jump around to. yo by myself ofcourse. thanks to marlene's asian dub foundation cd now i too can go bonkers.